I was quite stunned when I read this, but thought it was worth adding in to the post series…honest I didn’t know!

Extract from Sapphire Leadership Group Newsletter Jan 24, 2102

The transition from one calendar year to the next usually finds me fast asleep. I spend little time seeking to discern the meaning of a particular year since I believe there is more to be said for the Hebraic calendar God created than the Greco/Roman calendar our culture uses.

Thus, it came as a surprise when 2012 has been so strongly defined from almost the first day. The pattern I am observing is that God is removing the grace for dysfunctional relationships and is blessing the investment of those who have done the 100,000 little things over the years.

Let’s look at those two items separately. Codependent relationships have been around since Adam and Eve. We find them in marriages, parent/child relationships, in church, business, sports teams, clubs, schools, government and just about everywhere else there are people.

Even though the relationship is overall dysfunctional, people stay in the relationship because there is some component of it that at least appears mildly life giving. In their mind, the supposed benefit has high enough value that they should endure the junk.

And that is why it is called a codependent relationship. Each person is hurting and hurtful, but each gives and takes in some crude emotional/social economy.

Codependent relationships can be volatile but often are long standing, especially when they are in a larger organization such as a church, school or business.

It seems that as of the first of the year, there is very little grace for dysfunction to continue. I am watching just about every kind of social group that has sustained a codependent dysfunctional relationship over time, suddenly become polarized in a hurtful way, and disintegrate.

Marriages that have been in trouble for a long time, but have endured, are suddenly unable to fake it any longer. Churches that are sterile, but functioning, are suddenly in chaos. Small businesses that existed to exploit labor suddenly are devoid of customers and staff.

While all that death hurts to watch, there is an undercurrent that stings even more.

For those who I know personally, I grieve over the fact that so many of these people have been given hundreds of opportunities by God to address the root issues in their lives. They have been loved and confronted, courted and challenged, shown and told that they need help and that help is available, but they have refused to face their junk.

And now, the pseudo-community they maintained which helped them deny how bad things were inside is crumbling, and they are left with shattered relationships outside adding to the pre-existing damage inside.

Quick fix strategies to do damage control aren’t controlling anything. The years during which they resisted the opportunities to change will haunt them.

On the flip side, there are a lot of people I know who have invested faithfully and steadily in their inner world. They have pursued deliverance and inner healing. They have worked on character and competence. They have bought the books, done the training and have dirt under their fingernails from being in the trenches, doing the heavy lifting.

The last seven to ten years have been tough for them because they have invested so much, yet seen only modest results in their lives considering how deeply they have front loaded the investment.

Surprisingly, in the first three weeks of this year, I have seen a disproportionate number of these people who have had low ROI for their past spiritual investments suddenly experience the pieces of their lives come together dramatically.

Each story is unique. Each set of circumstances is its own divine intervention, but at the end of the day, those who have pursued wholeness and holiness are suddenly feeling the wind of God in their sails.

So this seems to be a year when authenticity prevails. Those who have vigorously dodged authenticity are being exposed. Those who have vigorously sought to be authentic are suddenly being honored by God in very tangible ways.

It is polarizing at every level. The middle ground of tolerance for denial and dysfunction is simply gone.

All told, it is a very sobering experience to watch this bifurcation in the religious culture taking place. There is a stark difference between those who are experiencing being disassembled by God and those who are watching Him build a path forward that is larger than they had imagined.

Arthur Burk
Sapphire Leadership Inc